Essential Communication Skills Entrepreneurs Need

Serial Entrepreneur: Secrets Revealed! – EP80

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 You’re listening to Startup Club. This is now, uh, a podcast as well. We rebranded the podcast, Serial Entrepreneur Secrets Revealed, and you can go back and you can listen to 79 other episodes. Today’s episode 80, and again, very, very excited about today’s topic. Um, let me, let me tell you this.

Sometimes you listen to speakers and they have an impact on your life. And in my case, in 1990s, we saw, I saw George speak at a conference and we brought him into our company. And then in the two thousands, we brought him into our company again. Um, he has made a very big difference for me over the last 20 years, and I’m very grateful.

He’s one of the kindest people I’ve ever met. And if you’re thinking. [00:01:00] How do you get investor money? How do you get more customers? How do you work with more suppliers, or how do you even improve your relationship? Today’s episode is going to be very, very cool. Now, I know we had a bumpy start today, but if you could just look down at the bottom of the screen there and there is a, a second to the left.

There’s a button where you can share on Clubhouse. And if you think this topic’s gonna be interesting for you, it’s also gonna be interesting for others. So please do share this on Clubhouse and if you’re listening to it in the podcast one day, you gotta come join us at Clubhouse, on stage at Clubhouse and have some fun with us.

And if you’re thinking, if you have any questions for George, please raise your hand and come on stage. Um, just before I pass it to you, George, uh, Michelle, any other thoughts about today’s show? Oh my gosh. I was so excited to hear that George was coming on the show and we had an opportunity to talk to him beforehand, just to [00:02:00] prepare and the principles, the things he’s gonna, you know, teach us today.

I know that they’ll have a positive impact for our members. I know that I’ve been able to practice some of these things and they do make a huge difference. So, you know, I, I’m so happy that we’re able to bring him to the stage for, um, the startup Club members. Thank you.

I’m trying to find the mute button there. And you’re the newbie, George. I’m good. Um, so, you know, just give us an intro. Tell us what we we’re gonna expect today at this, on this in the. Um, well, but unfortunately, I have to admit, there’s really, you mentioned the 1990s. There’s really nothing new in the material since then.

And, uh, the entrepreneurs here in this clubhouse there, I mean, it’s hard to narrow down. Are you talking to investors or employees or customers? You can’t really specialize very well, and [00:03:00] I have to admit, there is no, uh, scientific, it’s not a complicated scientific subject. George. George, what? Sorry to interrupt, but this isn’t going well.

What, what everybody in the room is paying attention to. Every word you say, You’re so negative. Well, I, No one likes you. Maybe it’s not too late. Why don’t you start over and see if you can state those same three facts using positive words. Okay. Gotcha. Gotcha. Fortunately, everything we cover here today is evergreen.

It doesn’t matter if it’s in 1990s or 19 any year. These are evergreen principles, and whether you’re dealing with investors or employees or customers, the same [00:04:00] principles apply because they’re all sizing you up based on the way you talk. And I’m very glad to confirm that this is not some scientific theory, this is common sense.

In fact, you already know in your gut everything we’re gonna talk about. Stop. Oh, okay. Hold it in the first minute. Who was ready to bail out of this call?

Were you feeling like, I think we all were George. I think George, I think we all were like, we’re like, Okay, what’s going wrong here? . And yet, that’s how so many people communicate. Did you notice I said the same? Three facts? Number one, it’s not new. Number two, there are a range of applicable fields. Three, you already know it.

It’s the facts that are the same. It’s the words used to deliver those facts that make all [00:05:00] the difference. And of course, the subhead for the title of this program is that it’s secrets being revealed. Here’s the biggest secret. Get ready. The biggest secret is that whether it’s someone reading an email from you, meeting with you in person, having a phone conversation, Everybody with whom you interact is paying careful attention to your word choice.

You could say, I’ll have to get that information. Or you can say, I’ll be glad to get that information. And it has an entirely different impact on your listener, even though the essential, the, the basic fact is the same. It’s the packaging. It’s the words you use. And the third point I made there is that this is common sense.

It’s not commonly practice though. And what we’re gonna do. There are no new words, there’s no complex vocabulary to learn. What we’re gonna do in this program is talk about situations in [00:06:00] which one little word change can make all the difference. And the lead example is getting rid of, I’ll have to, whether it’s, I’ll have to call you back, I’ll have to research that.

I’ll have to talk with my partners. If you replace, I’ll have to. With, I’d like to, or I’ll be glad to, you know, I’d like to talk with other investors. I’ll be glad to check with the management team. It’s the same except it’s completely different. So George, So George, 30 days ago I got a call from my twin brother.

He says, I’m, I’m getting married in three weeks from now. And I was set to go to NASCAR cuz we were sponsoring one of the cars in nascar. And I get a call from him and I’m like, Oh, I have to go like I’m thinking this mentally. Mentally, right. Okay. And then I remembered what you said, George. Cause look, I have to go, You can’t not go to your twin brother’s [00:07:00] wedding and be his witness and his best man or whatever.

So I said I’ll be happy to go, even though I was angry. I know it sounds funny, right? But I knew I was gonna have to go anyway. So why do you want him to feel bad about it? Right. Why would I want him to feel bad? And even during the wedding, I was very positive. I never even told him about the NASCAR thing.

Okay. So it was just that, just that little story there reminded me of like, and we, we, we had, I hadn’t seen you for about 15 years, I’m just saying like, you’ve had such a positive impact on me in my life. And, uh, and that’s just one little story. Well, Colin, I’m glad to hear that. And you’ve importantly revealed one of the big secrets here.

And the secret is that the words you use do three things. One, certainly they shape your image to the other person. Two, they determine whether the other person wants to cooperate with you or not. And three, this is most important and you just hit on it, you hear [00:08:00] yourself. If you say, I’ll have to go, you can almost feel, I mean, your brain, your body, they’re connected.

I’ll have to do this. You kind of slump down. Your shoulders get lower. I’ll have to, It’s like saying it’s a burden. I don’t want to, this is an imposition on me, but as soon as you switch that to I’ll be glad to, or I’d like to, you feel better and you project a more positive impression to others and you make them want to cooperate with you and you give yourself that positive input cuz you’re listening to yourself just as they are.

All right. That’s so cool. Give us, but, but, but, but give us another one. But George, you know, but by the way, but one simple three letter word. Let’s suppose you bring a new, uh, employee into your entrepreneurial pursuit and you do an evaluation at three months and there’s something overall [00:09:00] performance has been good.

There’s something not so good though. Maybe it’s punctuality. Well, if you say, you know, your first three months here really have been good, but the moment you say, But they stop hearing what you intend to be a positive review and only focus on Uno. He didn’t mean it, It hasn’t been a good three months.

There’s something wrong. You could though, say you’ve had a good first three months. And I’d like to focus on punctuality. So two ideas can exist at the same time. And in fact, that one little three letter word substitution from but to, and it, it, it, it opens your mind. It says, Wait, it’s not, That one has to be right and the other is wrong.

Two ideas exist simultaneously, and I think this is important enough that I’m considering another book with the title. [00:10:00] Get Your Butt Outta Your Mouth. I’m not sure the publisher’s gonna go for it. Yeah, I know. It’s funny though. It’s, it’s really good. So it’s, see what you’re describing are very simple things.

Absolutely. But yet they could have such life changing experiences. Like for me, I think one of the biggest things was that we were able to have you train our call center. We had hundreds of agents, so this became a systemic. We were able to actually change the culture in a way with the company, and it became systemic in that it was everyone in the organization would start to use these little tricks.

I’ll, I’ll be happy to. I’ll be glad to versus I have to and versus buts. Give us a couple more. Well, it’s, it’s funny, but I, I’ve not watch what just happened. It’s funny, but I said, Here we are in a program where I’m saying [00:11:00] rather than saying, but you should say and, and yet don’t think that because I write the books and that I give speeches about this, that I have it all internalized and I’m, you know, have a perfectly clear positive language.

No, no, no. The important thing is not to master and the subtitle of the book is 50 ways to Say What You Mean and Get What You Want. It’s not to master the 50, it’s to realize that you have the power to change. Just as I have now interrupted myself when I noticed that Uhoh, I said, but so let’s say, and you’ve not, like another example when we talked, uh, just a couple days ago, Colin, it was impressive to me that you remembered so much of that original presentation and because it’s effective, it’s freaking effective.

And one of the substitutions you called attention to was the phrase. Spend versus invest. Now, spend is [00:12:00] depleting a limited resource, whether it’s time or money. If you talk about spending time or spending time with an employee or spending money on an expansion of your business, hold it. Spend means you have a limited quantity and it’s going away.

You can make that simple substitution and say, I’m investing time with my employees, because after all, you wanna get a return on investments. Same with money. If you’re going to invest in expanding your entrepreneurial pursuit, making your business grow, you don’t wanna spend money, you wanna invest it, you wanna get a.

Yeah. I mean, it’s, it’s, it’s, it’s so simple, so applicable, and you can do so much with it. Uh, Michelle, any any questions? I know, see, when you’re there, we’ll just jump to you in a second if you have any questions for George. But, uh, any questions, Michelle? [00:13:00] Yeah, I, you know, it occurs to me, I know we’re saying power talking, but what helped me the most when I was trying to, you know, get these principles down and get him to be habit, was I, Excuse me.

Michelle. Michelle, I’m gonna interrupt you here. I’m gonna interrupt you. Yes. One phrase to get rid of is while I was trying to, you weren’t trying to, you are in the process of mastering. Trying is a word that lets people say, Okay, will you be here at noon? Well, I’ll try to be there at noon. I’m not making a commitment.

Don’t expect me to follow through. I’m just gonna put out a little effort. And then I got my butt covered when it doesn’t work out and say, Well, I didn’t say I would do it. I said I was going to try. And so that’s the end of my interruption, Michelle . That’s great. Thank you. When I was doing it, [00:14:00] I found, um, that if I really, like, I really tried to focus first on emails.

I know it’s talking, but it absolutely, um, applies to, you know, emails as well, or texts, you know, whatever, all communications that really helped me. And like you said, we’re all still working on it. Um, then I could kind of set back and read it. I do a lot of business development. So, you know, if I can’t, you know, very concisely speak in a way, you know, that’s direct and positive.

I, I’m kind of dead in the water from the beginning, you know, doing cells or business development. So I, I’m, I’m wondering if you have any suggestions in the same principles. How do they apply to email? Because a lot of us here, you, we don’t always talk to people. A lot of us are communicating via email or Slack or other methods.

Sure, yeah. I’d say [00:15:00] be your own editor and critic. I never send out anything unless I’ve read it at least twice and I’ve made plenty of mistakes that I’ve caught on a second edit reading through. And you might think, Oh, it’s just a quick, simple little email. Yeah. At any, any time you write anything, whether it’s a, a proposal, a pitch to investors, or a simple email, read it thinking, Hmm, is there some small word change I could make that would make a big difference?

Also, it’s interesting to me, Michelle, here we are serial entrepreneurs. Well, serial often means things don’t always go right, and in fact, failure is part of the process. However, the word failure makes you back away anytime, whether it’s written in an email or in a conversation with an employee, or talking with investors.[00:16:00] 

If you say we have failed at this, you’re looking the wrong way because that’s in the past and cannot be changed. So the substitution, instead of saying I failed, is to say, I learned. Here’s what I learned from that. And thi this is not just business, this is personal life too. I’m a pilot. I don’t currently fly.

However, I had an airplane in, um, back in the nineties and I crashed and burned and fortunately all four of us walked away. Unheard from Sessna 180 2, completely burned up, nothing left. And I certainly left that experience thinking, Oh my God, I failed cuz I mean, a pilot’s responsibility is to put the plane on the ground with everybody intact.

And here I am on the runway with my plane burning up. I failed. I failed. Fortunately though, because of this language substitution, we’re talking about. [00:17:00] I was able to flip that and say, Okay, I learned, what did I learn from this? And in that case, what I learned is listen to your gut. Because before the crash, I had this feeling like, Oh, something’s not quite right.

I maybe I should switch airports. Something’s not quite right. After the crash, I pay attention to my gut, and if it’s okay, I ride motorcycles. Now, if I’m going down the highway and my gut says change lanes, I don’t question it, I change lanes later, I’ll often see, Oh, there’s a pickup truck that’s kind of a dented, banged up pickup truck with stuff in the back of the truck.

That tells me that somebody isn’t very conscientious about maintaining their vehicle and carefully tying down their load. , but I didn’t have to go through that whole process of [00:18:00] analyzing my gut already got it. All I needed to do was follow through in my gut instincts, which said, get outta this lane later.

I see. Aha. My gut was working to protect me, so rather than I failed, I learned. Well, you know what’s interesting? Um, and I know Forbes gets irritated when I do this, but I have a line. We have a, I have a chapter in the book that’s up and up and coming book called Start Scale, exit, Repeat. And we’re actually finishing it, um, this month.

Um, this is actually the, some of your stuff’s going in the book too, George. Uh, of course. Cause it’s, it’s so life changing for me. It’s been amazing. But I have a, a, a line in the end of the chapter of why startups fail. And the line is, uh, and I don’t have it in front of me right now, so it’s not gonna be exactly verbatim.

Okay. Cause I’m trying to go by memory here right now. But it’s, uh, Our startup failures are the scars of [00:19:00] the past that guide us forward. And it’s just so interesting you’re saying like, let, yeah, let’s not look at failures. Failure. Let’s look at as as a learning position. And I actually believe when you’re pitching to investors, that’s a better case to make that, Oh, I actually, instead of saying nothing about it, okay, actually say, No, actually this is what happened.

We had this issue over this thing. We decided to close it down, whatever. And I learned this, this, and this. If you could actually say the things you’ve learned, you gave it a lot more credibility as well. And you learn a lot more from failures than successes because they’re going to be more failures.

Things aren’t always gonna go right. And when they don’t. You can either view that as a failure, which makes you think, Okay, I’m nev never doing anything like that again. Maybe I’m, maybe I should get a job. I’m not cut out for entrepreneurial business. Or you can say, Now I’m better because I’ve made that [00:20:00] mistake and learn from it and won’t repeat it.

You know what irritates me though, George, My daughter. I said, Okay, I joke about this with her. I said, When I’m dead, you’ll read the book. Start scale, exit repeat . Why can’t I, I talk about probably 25 failures in the book. Why can’t we learn like this is great? I mean, we have people in the audience here, and they’re listening and they’re learning, and that’s what this is all about.

And if you’re listening to this podcast now, or the live show, that’s the fact that you, you’re, you’re there, you’re learning, and hopefully you’ll learn from other people’s failures and you don’t have to fail yourself and mm-hmm. . But, uh, but it is funny. Some people just don’t wanna listen and learn and others just grab, grab onto it.

You know, Colin, a very important point you’re bringing up here is in parenting. This is not just about business. This is in the way you choose to lead your life and more important in the way you choose to set the image that your kids are [00:21:00] gonna follow. Now, my daughter is now 32. I raised her by myself as a single parent.

And of course, because I’m so involved in this, you know, I mean this is my passion, how to speak positively she had to put up with at all. During her childhood. Recently she completed a very rigorous course and, uh, graduated from Columbia University in environmental biology. And she said to me afterward, You know, dad, it seems like all that power stalking stuff, it really works.

So I have a question. Um, Before we go to Steven and Daniel who have joined us here on the stage, what do you do, George, when you’re in a situation where someone is being extremely hostile and negative, which I’m sure it’s happened to [00:22:00] everyone here, you know, that’s in this session, whether it be in your personal life or in a business setting, but let’s, let’s just say in a business setting first, I mean, this just recently happened to Colin and I, we were on our way last night.

Yeah. On our way to a business meeting. And, um, one of the gentlemen I’ll say to be nice that joined the group became very, very belligerent to somebody else in the group and was screaming and that was just out of control. and um, you know, he just, but he happened to be driving too. He was the driver and he, he had a lot of alcohol.

I’m just gonna say this. Yeah. I’m more direct than you, Michelle. He had a lot of alcohol. Uh, it was sort of fun at the beginning cuz we were on a plane together and then we got off a plane and then he was the actual driver. We did not know this. He was the driver. And then he gets very, and I’m sitting in the front row seat and I’m like, I’m literally trying to massage him to calm him down.

He looks like he was gonna drive into a brick [00:23:00] wall. What do you do, George? Huh? Well, this is a fundamental part of psychology. It’s called transactional analysis Dr. Eric Burn many years ago. Here’s what it comes down to. All of us play three roles in life. There is the child role, child has outbursts, emotional outta control, loud language such as the one you’re describing.

Parent. Parent behavior is different from child. Child is emotional outbursts. Parent is reprimands. You shouldn’t talk to me like that. What’s a matter of you’ve been drinking and now you’re driving? What the hell is wrong with you? That’s parent, child and parent. Never defuse anything. Fortunately, there’s a third rule.

Adult. Adult says, Put child emotions aside. Put parental judgements aside. As soon as you’re thinking this guy is [00:24:00] crazy, or this guy is way outta line, he’s yelling. Adult says, Hold up, wait. What we wanna do is get to a solution. And of course, solutions always involve addressing the needs of both parties.

And I’m sure everybody on this call at some point has read Getting to Yes by Fisher and Yuri, probably the most classic negotiating book. You revert to this say, wait a minute, let’s, let’s just review. What is it? What is it that you wanna get out of this transaction? And what do we wanna get out of this transaction?

Let’s find a way together to achieve an outcome that both of us will like. Because when you encounter that hostile behavior that you’ve just described in the car, it’s so tempting in your head to be thinking, this guy’s completely out of control, or how inappropriate this childish behavior is. You gotta stop that in your own head and say, What is the [00:25:00] outcome I’m after here?

Because the yelling don’t say, Oh, this guy’s yelling at me, Colin. No, this person is expressing right now child behavior. Or if it is somebody who is judging, well, you failed to do what you said you would do. Oh, that’s parent behavior. It’s not that you are being attacked. It’s that this person at this moment has stepped, has stepped out of the adult role, and the adult role is the only thing that’s gonna make things better.

So I’d say the starting point for your original question, Michelle, is start in your head, put up the barriers to reacting uhoh. Because see, a child outburst naturally triggers a parent response. He shouldn’t be talking like that. Or if it’s a parent out, um, you know, judgment, you people have let me down.[00:26:00] 

Then the child steps in and says, Oh no, they, they’re disappointed in me. I feel bad. Put your feelings aside. Put your judgments aside. Just starting your head, reminding yourself at this moment, this particular person, perhaps because of alcohol, perhaps because of the driving situation or stress, or who knows what’s going on in this individual’s life.

It’s not at. Because I wanna get to a positive outcome. I know that if this other person we’re thinking clearly not judging, not being in child behavior also wants a positive outcome, so then you can revert to, let’s see, what is the goal that we can both work toward? Yeah. Well, the goal for us was survival.

I mean, seriously, and, uh, um, so I tried to stay calm and I said, Hey, calm down. Don’t worry, we’re gonna have some drinks tonight. Like, and by the time, as soon as we got outta the car, like he gave me his, I, my phone ran outta power. He gave me his business card and he says, Okay, text me. We’ll go to [00:27:00] clubbing tonight.

Soon as I got outta the car, he’s guy’s gone. I’ve never even seen this guy ever again. Oh my gosh. Anyway. Anyway, Steven, you’ve been so patient. Steven, Thank you for coming on stage. Uh, do you have any questions for George or any thoughts about like, how we can replace language to help our startups succeed?

But you know what, I, I was enjoying listening to George because here’s what made the, the, the time, uh, listening, not patience, but it very enjoyable. He reminds me of a mentor of mine that, uh, I work on with these type of things. And when he was talking about the Jets, it reminded me of the Udo loop, which is observe, orient, uh, you know, decide and then act, which, you know, is a Reid Hoffman thing.

So when you’re talking about scale, it reminded me of, you know, Reid Hoffman of Blitzscaling and how he blitz scaled LinkedIn. And then I’m, as I’m listening to him talking about motorcycle riding, and it reminds me of the picture of, you know, [00:28:00] make sure you have a bro, a breakdown truck driving with you.

When you’re talking about try, it’s reminding me of. Not try, but, uh, reminds me of the Yoda thing of, you know, there is no try. It’s either do or don’t do, ask this question is, um, maybe have examples of this, but, uh, you and I are, for example, in the, in the, um, Harvard group, right? We’re in a Harvard group together.

And when I’m around somebody that’s at Harvard, uh, they’ll say things like, Well, on the other hand, or, It depends, and when you’re talking about startups, there’s conversation around scaling. But what, what I wanna know as I’m listening to you, George, the, the only person I’ve ever known that speaks like the, the way that you speaking is my mentor.

And he writes down his presentations. So I wanna know, do you, do you write down your presentations at all? And, uh, the, the more important thing is, can you give examples of like three or four power words that you go, Wow, the, if you only take these [00:29:00] three to four words with you, they’re gonna make, make massive impact in a business.

If you could just give us, these are three or four power words to take with you that will impact your business. Cause the one I thought about as you were talking is the UDA loop. Cause it’s kind of nichey and then, you know, relates to scaling, relates to, you know, fighter jets as somebody looks it up. The other one I was thinking of the, is the Yoda thing.

Cause people like, Yoda and it got me to stop saying the word try. But if you have three or four words, if you can just, I want to sear into my brain that by steering those three or four words into my brain, I’ll become more effective in business. I’m grabbing my pen. I wanna listen to the three or four words that can be just revolutionary, lifechanging, and if I incorporate them into more business conversations, and I got my pen ready.

I’m ready to write. Good. Good, Steven. Okay. Let’s start with what I, I let off with, It happens to be the first chapter of the book too. Get rid of, I’ll have to and always say, I’ll be glad to, or I’d like [00:30:00] to. That changes your attitude. It certainly changes the image and the level of cooperation you get from the other person.

Let’s get rid of, I failed and substitute. I learned. Let’s not say if only I had. Because whenever things don’t go right, you may at that moment think, Oh, I know where I went wrong. Oh, if I turned left instead of right, if only I had turned left. Instead of hold it. As soon as you say, if only I had, It’s like you have your head completely twisted around.

You’re looking behind you. You are not gonna change what happened in the past. You have now and you have going forward from now. So get rid of if only I had and instead say starting now. So that lets you bring in the lesson that you’ve learned from that setback. So [00:31:00] those are the top three for me. Uh, there are lots more and, but, but, and is also a good one as a foundational substitution because, but is a conflict word.

We, none of us want conflict. We want positive outcomes, Get rid of, but which puts two ideas in opposition and instead use, And one more I’ll give you here because of a, when you’re in a conflict situation, it’s funny that, you know, we, the, again, the subtitle of the program is the Secrets. Well, here’s one secret by one Little slip.

All of us can shoot ourselves in the foot. One word that will do that is the word disagree. Somebody else is expressing an opinion. Your reply is, Well, you know I disagree. As soon as the word D I S A G R [00:32:00] E E comes out of your mouth, a magical transformation happens. You said the word disagree. That’s not what they heard though.

What they heard is you are wrong. I disagree. My point of view is Right. Your point of view isn’t I disagree. Get rid of, I disagree always. Instead say, I understand. And at the same time, so that you could bring those two ideas into, they can both exist simultaneously and in fact, perhaps the most favorable outcome is a combination of the point of view you have and the point of view the other person has.

There may be a third point of view that neither of you have thought of, so get rid to disagree, replace it with I understand. And let’s also consider, So that’s interesting. So you’re, you’re, you can still make the same [00:33:00] arguments, but not, but you can still make the same argument and you can have a, I love it when you catch yourself.

Right? Okay. But okay. Yeah, I know. But you can still make the same argument and have a different approach by adding the word I understand. Instead of I disagree. Um, yeah. That’s interesting. So simple, isn’t it? Like, and yet the person will get receiving the information, the person you disagreed with, like you’re saying, I understand George, where you’re coming from, but you really need to start thinking about, but not fun.

Oh, yeah. Whatever. Okay. You know, I’m working on it. Okay. I’m working. Oh boy. Good thing we’ve got Michelle here and Mimi too, and Steve and everybody helping each other, catching each other. And you can have fun with this, you know, if you are, if you have an entrepreneurial enterprise with a smallish work team, you could paint everybody together and say, Okay, [00:34:00] let’s, this week let’s get rid of.

I’ll have to and say, I’ll be glad to. And when each of us slips and says, I’ll have to just kind of get me a little poke in the side, help me. I, I’ve had clients, uh, at large companies who will put a, almost like a tip jar, uh, a jar with a little slot in the top and say, when you catch somebody else saying, I’ll have to, A dollar goes in the tip jar.

Nice. And then, you know, as that balance accumulates, it becomes a party. It’s fun. All right, George, we’re at the middle of the session and we do have someone in our chat asking, Tanya is asking, what is the name of your book? And I know we also, um, had talked, you are going to also tell us and the members how they can get this list of these 50 power words.

Can you tell us that again? Oh, sure. [00:35:00] Yes. Happy to. Uh, first of all, the title of the book is Power Talking and it the Sub on 50 Ways to Say What You Mean and Get what you Want. Now, Power Talking. Be sure that if you, if you go to Amazon or someplace for the book, it’s Power Talking by George Walter, because there are other books with that same title, which I don’t have anything to do with.

Uh, interesting thing as an author, you cannot trademark your book’s title. You, you can make a book right now called, you Know, Oh, Gone With The Wind. You, you can’t protect the title. You can copyright the content. So, um, it’s not even necessary to get a book. It’s not necessary to read a book. It’s necessary, though, to know the 50 substitutions, and here’s how you do it.

Go to this website. By the way, I have nothing to sell. I have no lists. You’re never gonna get email from. Go to this [00:36:00] website speaking from experience.com. One word, of course, all lowercase speaking from experience.com. There you’ll see right on the top menu bar is a word resources. Click there and you’ll see there are resources, especially the resource for positive language because you can print out a PDF of the 50 ways to not say this, say this instead, and a simple one sentence explanation of why that substitution makes sense.

And let me also point out that I said, remember when I opened this program, the very first fact I said, Gee, uh, but unfortunately, I have to admit there’s nothing new. You’ll see that there’s a copy rate date of 2003 and you might say, Oh, this is old stuff. Yeah, it’s Evergreen. Mahama, [00:37:00] Gandhi, Mahama Gandhi said, Your words become your actions.

Your actions become your habits. Your habits become your values, and your values become your destiny. So all of us share the desire to be successful in our entrepreneurial pursuits. If your, if your thoughts are positive, your words are positive, your words become your actions, those become your habits, Those become your values, that becomes your destiny.

We want the destiny of having successful lives, and I’m not just speaking financially here. We all wanna have successful lives. A starting point is in what’s in your head and what comes outta your. So by all means, download 50 ways to say what you mean and get what you want. There’s also an article you’re welcome to republish, uh, within your business.

That’s the 13 things nobody should [00:38:00] ever say. Many of them are what we are talking about here during this program. That’s great and we definitely will include these links as well in the blog post that Mimi writes. Um, so anyone who is interested in seeing any blog posts in including this or recordings, it’s all free.

It’s all up on www.startup.club. Um, we have well over 200 articles as well as recordings. You can also sign up for the email newsletter if you so choose, so you can be alerted about special speakers like who we’re having today, George. So I think next let’s, let’s jump over to Daniel. He’s been very patient.

Daniel, what is your input or question? Hi, Daniel or George? Hi George. I’m gonna be honest, uh, at the moment for me. Wait, Daniel, Daniel, I gotta interrupt you for a. You’re gonna be honest. Is that different from what you [00:39:00] normally do? Nah, that’s just the traded, the word sentence I come up with. I know that this is what I was saying earlier with a simple phrase, you can shoot yourself in a foot if you say, to be honest with you or to tell you the truth.

That’s like saying, Well, I don’t normally tell the truth, but I’m giving you special treatment. So sorry for the interruption. I wanted to show that this happens in everyday conversations. Your question is Daniel. I just wanted to give a little bit of an input cuz of all I’m doing here at the moment is listening in to what you are sharing, George, because, uh, I deal with people daily and with myself, I never figured, I love to support positive reinforcement and listening in.

So what I’m gonna do right now is literally cook my dinner and listen in because it’s beautiful. Cause I do crowdfund and I talk to people all the time. But it’s good to have that. I find that it’s always good to communicate as a collective. I love talking about the [00:40:00] ways we can do it and everything like that, but just being here and being quiet is very good.

So I can listen. Nice. Are you in the UK now? Yes. And it’s dinner time, so I’m literally multitasking and while I’m talking to you. Good, good for you. Yeah, we versus I George. Um, that’s an interesting one there, isn’t it? That’s right. Cuz you want everything in entrepreneurial pursuits is a team function. We, Yeah, no, that’s just interesting.

And I think this idea, like startups, we, you know, were founders of these startups and it’s almost like the law of attraction, right? Okay. Everybody wants to work for somebody who is optimistic and positive and yet, We’re going through hell half the time to be direct with you, George. We’re going through hell.

Mm-hmm. . Mm-hmm. . And it’s not always easy to be optimistic in a startup [00:41:00] and uh, but when you are optimistic, when you do change your language, I, I think you’re saying it actually makes you actually more optimistic. Absolutely. It makes you more positive, even though it’s just a word or two. It actually makes a change within you as well.

You’re so right about that. And here’s another good substitution the word problem. We’ve got a problem with this round of funding or we’ve got a problem with this customer. As soon as you say problem. Well, nobody likes problems. You wanna back away from problems even physically back away. Certainly mentally, oh, this is a problem, situation.

I don’t like problems. If you just change the word, say we have a challenging situation with this round of funding, or we have a challenge with this customer, we all rise to the occasion when it comes to challenges. You want to face challenges and come out the other side [00:42:00] better off problems. You don’t wanna face them.

We wanna get away from problems. So that’s a, a good example of just what you’re saying. It changes your thinking if you say, We have a challenge in this situation rather than problem. Yeah. The other little statement I make in the, my book as well, which is coming out in a few months, but is, um, nothing motivates more than success.

Everybody wants to be part of something that’s successful. Nobody wants to be part of a plane going down. I’m sorry you had, you had that situation. But, um, but in a startup, in a startup world, uh, you really have to find ways to, very unique ways to hire people. Um, be because you’re in Competi, you’re in competition with Fortune 5,000 mm-hmm.

and you just, we don’t have the salaries. Like we cannot do the salaries. So it’s all about how do we create a different environment in a startup [00:43:00] so that we can bring over that talent that we really need that and, and convince them to work for like below their market value for our startup. At the same time, you know, So, so I think this, this, this is really relevant to that.

I feel like by, by actually, you know, having these positive statements within your organization, it really changes the culture of your startup. Well, that’s the whole goal here. Yep. So, George, it’s a little yes. Just how would you suggest to the members, um, here that are in the session today to be, uh, you know, is this something we could do as sessions, um, for ourselves and for our employees?

I, I feel like, um, people really need to be kind of taught this, that it’s, that it’s okay, and this is the kind of talk [00:44:00] that we want in the company. Well, what would you suggest we do to like, make it reality? Yes. Well that, that’s why earlier I was suggesting if you take it a week at a time, If you, if you say, This is the week when we are going to expunge from our collective vocabulary failed and substitute learned, instead we’re gonna get rid of, I’ll have to and say, I’ll be glad to.

We’re gonna get rid of problem. Go to challenge. If you make everybody focused on the same substitutions, and by the way, there are 50 on that reference chart, you can plant the print out and there are 52 weeks in a year. You could one phrase a week, change the way you act, speak, and talk. And the important thing here is that of course we are all going to be making mistakes.

I’ve made mistakes during this conversation where I actually accidentally said, But we’re [00:45:00] gonna make mistake. There’s nothing wrong with making mistakes. What’s important is to realize that you can change. You’re not stuck with the language patterns you’ve had all your life. You can change them. It. I’m not saying it’s easy, it is simple though.

Similarly, so many of us grow up thinking that you make me so mad, or when you do that, you make me angry. Hold it Now. I thought that my dear mom long departed Edith Walter. I thought this is something she thought of. I’ve realized now that lots of people have come to the same truism, and that is if you point at someone, and right now whether you’re cooking dinner in the UK or at home or or in, in an office right now, if you take your fingers and you point, point at something, You notice [00:46:00] that one finger is pointing at the thing you’re pointing toward, and three fingers are pointing back at you.

Pay attention to the three fingers. So instead of you make me mad, no. Those three fingers say, I feel mad when such and such happens. Because as soon as you’re pointing your finger at someone, they become defensive. And of course, because so much of my career has been about being on stage, making presentations, I’ve learned such a small, simple little thing.

Do not point with one finger. If I wanna point to somebody in the audience, I’ll never use one finger. I’ll use an open hand. So that four fingers, it’s not an accusation. It’s not, it’s not a, it’s not the barrel of a gun. We’re pointing here. We’re together working toward creating a better positive outcome.

That’s [00:47:00] so funny cuz when I was doing my ipo, um, RBC was our underwriter and I was doing that in the meetings with a finger. I was pointing at the, and he said afterwards he says, Never do that. Never do that. You want more of a welcoming, what we were talking about approach. Um, and that’s, that’s very interesting.

Very, very interesting. I, I’m thinking back to our company, George and I, I’m a bit rusty here cuz you know, it’s spend some time, right? Um, but this concept of trying, getting word rid of that word, you know, you have to respond to a client and you say to them, I’ll try to get it done by the end of the week.

Or you say to them, I’ll, I will get it done by four o’clock on Friday. Yes, you have to do it anyway. Right. You have to do it anyway. So, So help me with this one. Help me. I, I always advise to add a little cushion. [00:48:00] If you, if you tell the client, I’ll have that for you Wednesday and something happens and you don’t quite get it done Wednesday, you’re a major disappointment.

However, if you were to say to the client, I’ll have this for you by end of day Thursday, still shoot for Wednesday, and when you turn it in on Wednesday or when you contact the client, whatever the situation is, when you do it ahead of their expectation, then they think, My God, you really, you outperformed.

The interesting thing though is that we set the expectations. If you say, I’ll try to have that for you Wednesday, you are setting the expectation in the other person that Wednesday is when it’s gonna be coming in. Cuz you said you’d dry. and then of course things intervene. Make it impossible. That’s why you add the safety cushion.

You still shoot for Wednesday. You [00:49:00] want them though. Not to say he didn’t do what he said he would do, He fell short. You don’t even want them to say, Yeah, he said Wednesday and we got it Wednesday. What you want them to be thinking is, he said Thursday, but he got it Wednesday. He’s outperforming. He delivers sooner than he said he would.

So we have the power to control expectations of others and that allows us to exceed their expectations. It’s so interesting. You’re a hero. You’re a hero by doing, yet all you did was a few words. You’ve changed a few words. Just changed it to Thursday instead of Wednesday, and it’s so simple to do that.

Now. I’ve had the situation where, um, I settled, deliver something by Thursday. Something goes wrong, you know, a hurricane or whatever, you know, whatever it is. Um, this year’s been a particularly bad year with the war Ukraine and [00:50:00] hurricane and all my startups, but that being said, something goes wrong. And then on that day I will reach out again to the client and say, Well, um, I know I said Thursday, so I acknowledge that, uh, but I’ve had some issues.

And I try to sh I try to share the issues a little bit so they understand mm-hmm. , and, but I will, and then I give a new date and a new time. Now, is that the right approach as well, or am I, am I on the right track here? Oh, definitely on the right track. You, things are gonna go. Things are going to interrupt.

They’ll prevent you, whether it’s, you know, a war or a storm or a hurricane or whatever, things are gonna come up that prevent you from doing what you said you would do. The earlier that you can let the client know that there’s going to be a difference, the better. Let them know that you don’t always, you know, i’s something very interesting here, Colin.

There is research by a [00:51:00] firm no known as tarp, Technical Assistance Research Project. It, it’s, it’s older research, but here’s what the bottom line was. It was about consumer complaint behavior. Consumers are more loyal when things go wrong than if everything goes smoothly, providing that when things go wrong, you knock yourself out to make it right.

They would otherwise be cursing you. They didn’t deliver, they didn’t do what they said. If you though, do just what you said, let them know that it’s going to be, there’s gonna be a different delivery date and explain why they’re going. Like, Wow, these people are really on top of it. They gave me the early warning that, that the, the schedule we were expecting isn’t gonna happen.

And it’s understandable considering these other factors you just brought in. So, yeah, a heads up early warning can make people more loyal than if nothing went [00:52:00] wrong in the first place. Oh, that’s just, just, just crazy. That’s so, so cool. Look, I, I know we talk a lot about, this is startup clubs, so we talked a lot about startups, but what we’re talking about these phrases, um, they could be, you know, if you’re working for a startup or you’re working in any company, I mean, if you started to adopt these phrases, it could be a career changer for you.

It could be something. So this isn’t just for startups, this is for for employees. This is for, for your investors. This is like, there’s so many ways I could see you applying this, Daniel. Yeah. By the way, here, here’s another thing that people have a tendency to say, uh, and I do too. This is a downfall on my end.

I know that I’m not that great at remembering people’s names. When you encounter somebody, whether it’s a startup situation or you have established a business that’s running beautifully, and you encounter someone who, Oh my God, what is her name? I, it’s on the tip of my [00:53:00] tongue by I just, what is her name?

It’s that awkward situation that most people will say, Oh, oh, I’m so sorry. Geez, I’m just terrible with names. Well, that you’re running yourself down. Better is to say, Oh, good to see you again. I’m George, Extend your hand, or whatever the appropriate social greeting is. Don’t undermine yourself by saying, You know, I’m just no good with names.

I’m so sorry. No. Offer the reminder. Hey, good to see you again, George, As if they may have forgotten your name. And that prompts them to immediately say, Oh, yes, Sheen, I remember you.

Well, that’s a game changer for me because I, I’m horrible at names . So, So Daniel, I think you were gonna, and then we’ll go to Sharon, but, um, and thanks for sharing, for coming on stage. I always love hearing from you. Uh, but Daniel, you, I think you were gonna jump in there for a second. I’m not certain. And, and make [00:54:00] a comment or question or something.

Yeah. If not, Yeah, call it. Yeah, go ahead. If I can have two seconds. Uh, I hear, I hear What are you cooking? First of all, what are you cooking? Right? I’m, I’m cooking some vegetarian sausages I’m doing with nda. Uh, mixing some vegetables, peppers. I’m doing it with a co, so I’m doing it Indian and I’m gonna make this with a nice rice, so it’s gonna be nice and Indianness.

All right. But Michelle and I aren’t gonna fly over and have dinner with whenever you guys wish to. I would love to cook free all I, I love the kitchen. I love talking to people. We’ve got, you know, that mindset of creation and open, open way of being. So please do guys. I would love that, honestly. Great. And where are you, Daniel?

I’m in the north of England. Leeds, that’s the name of the city. Uh, yeah. Nice and cold up here. Won’t get too warm, that’s for sure. . Uh, but nevertheless, you know, he listening to George and everything, this, the openness and communication with any organization is beautiful and that’s what helps us move forward.

[00:55:00] It can be in a startup, it can be, I’ve found that people. To have that open communication. And for me, this has been like a big eye open and thank you, uh, George Field. Simon. I’m just so happy to be here, so thank you. Oh, Daniel, you’re welcome. Yeah. Great. Um, Sharon, uh, I’m gonna call upon you next and, uh, maybe you have a few thoughts about, you know, how to run a positive organization or a question for George.

Over to you, Sean. Yeah. Hey, Colin. Hey, Michelle. Hey, George. Thanks for bringing me up. Um, I actually, I just, it, um, what you just said resonated with me because it’s really important to reframe, uh, the negative into the positive. And I had two experiences over the weekend. I was traveling, I was down in Austin, Texas.

Um, so I had the. I had the, uh, ability to take a couple of flights and, um, if anyone in the audience [00:56:00] has ever flown on an airline before, they know it’s not always, um, the, the positive experience that they want it to be. And I had two experiences where I was, um, one where they just had a mechanical failure and they couldn’t get the jet way to hook up.

And another one was we had weather. Um, and it was, the airline’s really mistake, I thought to not, um, not provide information. You know, they like kind of kept us in the door,

local problem or for a weather problem. But what they didn’t do, was make me feel like I mattered from a brand standpoint. And that’s where brands I think make a lot of mistakes, um, in reframing, not taking the opportunity to reframe a negative into a positive and just say, you know, we really appreciate your patience, cuz they know we’re not gonna be patient, right?

Cause we’re sitting on an airplane waiting to get off. Um, we really appreciate your [00:57:00] patience and we, you know, want to, to, you know, get you to your, to your destination or whatever it is, and reframe that in a way that’s going to get, um, you being loyal to them and thinking that, Boy, they did a really great job.

Instead of, boy, they missed the mark and left me, you know, stranded. You are so right. And I just had this experience earlier this month. Um, I was flying to, I was on my way to Croatia and connecting flights in Paris at the Charles Tagal airport. And I was in this line, this massive line. When you go from a, in international incoming to a domestic or within the SH area, you, you have to again, go through passport control.

Well, there were well over, I, I do not use the word literal lightly. I, I only say it when I mean it. There were literally thousands of people waiting, thinking, Wait a minute, The line’s not moving. I’m gonna miss my connection. What’s going on [00:58:00] here? They never said a thing. Later, it turned out that the computer system that controls immigration was down and so nobody could have their passports scanned if they had simply had someone make an announcement.

We could at least understand. We’ve all had computers go down, but we were all thinking, what are they on a lunch break? How they can’t possibly process all of this. The result was nine hours in the airport. Fortunately, there was an excellent lounge I had access to, so I did get a shower and a nap. All they had to do was explain.

We’ve all had computers fail. We just had a computer interruption. I’m so sorry that you are now inconvenience. We’re working hard to get you to your connecting flights. They didn’t. Yeah, it’s interesting. Um, it just reminds me of a story back in the nineties going back. So we started the [00:59:00] nineties. We had entered the nineties.

Uh, my ISP internet direct, uh, our phone lines were cut by, um, by accident, by hydro cruise. And we had, um, hundreds of thousands of customers and the, um, you know, we call, go, go into a boardroom, we’re gonna be bankrupt, we’re gonna go on business, blah, blah, blah. And I said, What should we do? And then I, I said, Let’s do a press release.

Let’s tell everybody what happened and we did a press release. And I swear to you, on every hour on the station, hundreds of thousands of people are off the internet due to this, this thing. And they kept naming our company over and over. They could name our company, name our company. So we turned a crisis into what turned out to be, uh, very successful for us, and actually gave us a lot of free publicity.

So, on that note, George, thank you very much. We’re all gonna do a big clap here. The, you know, maybe we could do that. I don’t know, Michelle. And we take off mute and just do a nice clap here for you. [01:00:00] But like I tell you, I tell you like these simple, simple things could be a game changer for your startup.

And, uh, and it, and by the way, there’s so much stuff here too. I have to go back and listen to the whole episode again. I’m telling you, it’s too much for me not to, to try to maybe absorb, you know, so simple. And it could be such a game changer. . And I’ll tell you another game changer. Uh, you would not have known George was coming in today to talk unless you signed up to our email list.

Uh, we only email speakers and we have another huge author coming in two weeks. I’m not gonna tell you who it is, right? Uh, and we have another founder of a multibillion dollar company coming in. I believe he’s booked in November and December. December, okay? So he’s 87. I’m not gonna tell you the company, I’m not gonna tell you.

You gotta go to that email. You gotta go to startup.club, Sam, that email list, and you’ll be in the know, like when we get these, you know, we have Mr. Wonderful on. We had, um, [01:01:00] we had, uh, uh, one of my favorites who wrote inside the tornado and crossing the chasm. Jeffrey Moore. We’ve had Burn Hardish, we’ve had Jack Daley.

Look, these are, didn’t cost you anything to listen. Did. And look how much we learned in one hour. So I would really encourage you to go to the website, sign up the email list, and check us out on our podcast. We have over 79 now. Now this will be the 80th episode. Check us out, Serial Entrepreneur Secret revealed on any podcast network.

We will see you next week. George. Thank you very much, Michelle. Daniel, share always happen to have you on stage. And our number one, Mimi, she’s gonna turn this to a blog and she’s gonna make it a a really exciting blog. So thank you to you as well, Mimi, for everything you do. Thank you. It’s been a point.

Thank you everybody. You here. Absolutely, George. If you’re ever in Fort Lauderdale, please ping us and we’ll take you to dinner. All right, talk to you later. [01:02:00] Bye. Thanks. Have a great weekend. All right, bye-bye.